The Houses of Westeros
as Modern Tech Companies
Tech workers are no strangers to war metaphors:
- We have the War for Talent
- TechCrunch Disrupt’s Startup Battlefield
- A Players
- And coding Ninjas.
While we have yet to hear of a CEO referred to as the general or field marshall, we tend to believe that if we lived in the land of Westeros many of the familiar faces atop the technology food chain wouldn’t be too different than our favorite characters.
So, in honor of the end of Season 5 and in hopes that George RR. Martin will publish another book soon…
we give you the Game of Tech:
(And no… there won’t be a surprising heart stopping death at the end of this post…but HODOR!?) oops Spoiler Alert!
House Lannister = House Amazing Amazon
Lord Jeff Bezos:
Much like the Lanister’s never really make it clear how they have so much gold, with every earnings call, people wonder how he is able to keep the company afloat.
Amazon always pays it’s debts by having a great return policy and same day delivery in many states.
They’re notorious for recruiting only A players, and we have a feeling that if Jamie worked there, he’d be a lot better at fighting one-handed by now.
House Stark and The DireWolf = House RIM and The Blackberry
The Death of the Surge
The once noble, ubiquitous devices held by every major executive in the world have been overtaken by the likes of House Google and House Apple.
Much like Rob Stark’s rush to avenge his father’s death after his execution, RIM scrambled to get out new devices like the failed Surge to compete with the iPhone.
While plenty of brilliant people worked at blackberry, they are now scattered across the tech landscape of Westeros helping to build up the culture of more relevant tech houses.
House Baratheon = House Yahoo
The Priestess Marissa:
Once the rulers of the land, Yahoo has gone through consistent leadership changes and their culture has shifted over time.
While they appear to be kept afloat by their Alibaba relationship, they have released some innovative products under their Red Priestess Marissa Mayer.
They acquire new companies like the Night’s Watch brings wildlings through the wall, hoping to defend their legacy with the help of new talent.
There’s still hope for them to bring the tech landscape back under their reign, but as always, reddit is abuzz with speculation.
House Greyjoy = House MegaUpload
MegaUploaders were once the raiders of the internet.
They took away dollars from the great houses in Hollywood until the US Department of Justice launched a nighttime raid on their servers and domain names.
Much like the viking style warriors from House Greyjoy, KimDotCom doesn’t seem to sow
– He just festers on his fallen empire in exile on his massive property in New Zealand.
Vice made an excellent documentary that proves Theon would probably cower in front of KingKim, and while he may be exiled, he certainly has some interesting ideas on the future of the web.
House Targaryen = House Google
Lord Sergey Brin
Google claims to Do No Evil, and yet we often wonder what their real motives are, just like that of Daenerys.
After hatching the dragon of all search algorithms, they spent the next 15 years pulling together some of the smartest, most eclectic tech warriors on the planet and building a company predicated on superior intelligence and the desire to change and take over the world.
They control so much of our lives, and in the end we think Daenerys has much she can learn from Sergey and Larry.
House Tyrell = House Zappos
Sir Tony Hsieh – Lord of the Shoe
One of the odder houses in the Techdom, 10% of the company just left after they announced a new manager free policy. They are notorious for their weird and vibrant culture, much like the Tyrells are known for having a few odd ducks in the clan.
Because of their otherness they have built an amazing culture that sustains an awesome company, and Tony Hsieh reminds us of Lady Olenna with his relentless passion to build a company in Las Vegas and his never ending style.
…and lastly how can we leave out HODOR!?
Hodor = Slackbot
Known for his programmable answers,
Slackbot is the Hodor of the tech world.
We’ve seen chats where slack Noobs pull their hair out trying to figure out why he keeps perking up in conversation, but if you treat him right he can actually provide some pretty useful information.
And while Slackbot is a bit more sophisticated than Hodor when it comes to what he can say – he just doesn’t seem to understand that he’s a bit awkward.
Always at your side, we have a feeling that just like Hodor will soon make a reappearance, Slackbot will be seen in an office chat near you very soon.
This concludes our Game of Throne Parody and our favorite show will sure be missed!
If you’re interested in winning the game of tech and incorporating the best of these tech houses into your culture, email Saxon@wevue.com or check out our website and we’ll show you how we’re helping companies breathe fire into their hearths and winning the hearts and minds of their people.
In the mean time comment below and tell us which tech house is your favorite!
Also feel free to share the house and tag us @WeVue #GameofTech to join on the conversation on what other Game of Tech references we can make!